Is God okay with men marrying teen brides?

[AgnosticBoy]

Some think that it is likely that the Jews in the OT married teen girls. One reason for this view is the only requirement is that the woman is a virgin. Even if we include the ability to get pregnant, then teen girls are still in that category.

So let's discuss.

1. Does the Bible mention an age of consent?

2. If teen brides were allowed in the Bible, is that an immoral and/or harmful standard?

Make your case!

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Yes, if a 35-year-old man marries a 16-year-old adolescent girl, yeah, there’s going to be a power differential, no question. It might possibly work out if he’s both a decent guy, and she has an extended family which is heavy on the support side and light on the blame side.

I’m actually in favor of young marriage. I mean, in which both people are young. For example, one 16-year-old marries another 16-year-old.

In the modern world, I guess I want both marriage and divorce to be easier.

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Maybe connected . . .

Some mothers absolutely wage war on their teenage daughter because the daughter is interested in an “inappropriate” boy. And often the mother is 100% correct. But that doesn’t make it better. In fact, it kind of makes it worse.

The mother-daughter relationship is damaged and scarred to such an extent that it never fully recovers.

Now, fathers sometimes wage war on their teenage sons. Instead of welcoming his son’s growth and the rocky process of being a man, the father views the son as some kind of competition.

But all the same, on some kind of very inaccurate “average,” I think the amount of war a mother wages on her daughter is worse.

One thing which helps is already a norm . . .

And that’s for the young adult to live with a grandparent, or an Aunt or an Uncle, or even an older sibling who’s already left home. So, I guess this can become even more widely and easily accepted as a norm.

Another thing, which is really more of a wish list item, is that there be more middle-income jobs available across the board, including for 16- and 17-year-olds and young adults. But this truly is a wish list item as in the United States, as well as most “advanced” economies, we are experiencing a slow-motion, long-term decline in the opposite direction!

 

[AgnosticBoy]

Yes, if a 35-year-old man marries a 16-year-old adolescent girl, yeah, there’s going to be a power differential, no question. It might possibly work out if he’s both a decent guy, and she has an extended family which is heavy on the support side and light on the blame side.

I’m actually in favor of young marriage. I mean, in which both people are young. For example, one 16-year-old marries another 16-year-old.

In the modern world, I guess I want both marriage and divorce to be easier.

I can see that happening. I would think the laws on consent were made to protect kids keeping in mind that kids don't have enough experience to make good decisions on sex and relationships, not to mention they may be even more prone to sexual abuse from older perverts.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

1. Does the Bible mention an age of consent?

Based on conversations from another thread regarding rape in the Bible, I'm going to say my answer is no. BUT, even though there is no age of consent in the Bible, that does not mean that someone of any age can have sex. In other words, the age restriction on sex would not be based on ability to give consent but rather on the ability to reproduce (i.e. after puberty).

I think when people ask about an age of consent in the Bible, they are imposing a modern concept. It obviously looks bad to Christians if they say there is no age of consent so some go with it and perhaps say that it is implied. But as I stated before, I don't believe there is an age of consent, while also maintaining that sex was age-restricted in the Bible.

2. If teen brides were allowed in the Bible, is that an immoral and/or harmful standard?

If we are talking about teens that have already reached puberty, then I'm going to say it would not be harmful in all cases. There are those issues that Lemur rightly brought up earlier, but then I would go further to ask if those issues would apply in all cases. I'm thinking those issues wouldn't if the parents are involved.

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

I would think the laws on consent were made to protect kids keeping in mind that kids don't have enough experience to make good decisions on sex and relationships, not to mention they may be even more prone to sexual abuse from older perverts.

I don’t want to criminalize being a teenager. Meaning, I don’t want to make it illegal for two teenagers to have sex. In fact, I think more recent laws say that if the two of them are within 2 or 3 years of each other, it’s not automatically assumed to be abusive.

In fact, I think the recent societal emphasis in the U.S. and elsewhere on non-bullying connects with this very well. Young people can be told and understand that bullying on something as personal as sex is a really bad idea.