The “measured honesty” approach for young persons living with family?

[Multicolored Lemur]

In “measured honesty,” you don’t lie, but neither do you tell the whole truth.

For example, if you’re living in a religious family and you become an atheist or agnostic, there’s probably more downside than upside in telling parents, grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, etc, even siblings.

Even if asked a direct religious question, maybe—

[pause] “I don’t know”

[another pause] “What do you think?”

Meaning, gently and slowly turn the question around. And as a fallback position, have in your hip pocket something like—

[said naturally and slow to medium] “Different churches, believe different things.”

Meaning, if you’re an atheist, maybe pretend to be an agnostic [if and when they push you that far, but try to avoid being pushed]

Maybe even still attend some religious services, but tail back on your least favorite parts.

I’m thinking of people in religious Christian families. But I’m thinking this general approach might work if you’re in a Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, or Sikh family. Even if God forbid , you’re living in a Pagan family!

PS Just as a fun tidbit, Sikhs are the world’s 3rd largest monotheistic religion.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

NOt telling the whole truth, by just keeping quiet or not answering the question is not a lie in my book. It can definitely mislead someone but oftentimes that's on the part of the receiver (the person you're telling the some information to and they're drawing their conclusions/assumptions).

Measured honesty also sounds similar to a "white lie". What I'd really want to know is the biblical position on "measured honesty" and
"white lies".

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Measured honesty also sounds similar to a "white lie". What I'd really want to know is the biblical position on "measured honesty" and
"white lies".

aka “a super hero lie”

I’m going to guess that the Bible is all across the board, that we can find passages that strongly decry lying, any lying, and other passages in which someone described as a “righteous man” is depicted as doing just that with no commentary.

PS I wish I could point to a movie scene or TV episode which illustrates measured honesty.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

Joshua 2:1-4 might fit: Rahab lies about the whereabout of spies...

Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.

2 The king of Jericho was told, “Look, some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land.” 3 So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.”

4 But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from.

In the NT, she's called righteous...
James 2:25
25 In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction?

Maybe an exception to the commandment to not lie?

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Maybe an exception to the commandment to not lie?

Sounds like it.

Sounds like it’s also waxing in the direction of salvation by works. Or, at least being classified as a “righteous person” by your deeds.

 

[SajanZayn]

Your approach of 'measured honesty' seems like a thoughtful strategy, creating a bridge between personal beliefs and familial expectations, fostering understanding without unnecessary conflict, regardless of religious background.

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Your approach of 'measured honesty' seems like a thoughtful strategy, creating a bridge between personal beliefs and familial expectations,

I’d just add that a lot of people aren’t going to have that much in common with their parents, especially during the teenage years. And maybe what they most have in common is daily living and household activities. And perhaps school, but some parents want to talk about school just way too much.

And I think religion is a topic which is generally best avoided in conversation.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

I’d just add that a lot of people aren’t going to have that much in common with their parents, especially during the teenage years. And maybe what they most have in common is daily living and household activities. And perhaps school, but some parents want to talk about school just way too much.

And I think religion is a topic which is generally best avoided in conversation.

Ironically, I think a lot of parents nowadays aren't raising their kids to be religious even though they want to talk about it from time to time.

Your approach of 'measured honesty' seems like a thoughtful strategy, creating a bridge between personal beliefs and familial expectations,

Welcome to the forum Sajan. Forgot to comment on that part of Lemur's point. Generally, I would lean towards trying to relay the message to parents, but I can see some benefits in not doing so. Lemurs approach would be a good starting point to test the waters. And if things go bad from that then I would be a good ending point as well. I can see a measured approach also being good for convo about sexual orientation.

And I was thinking pagan parents would be happy the matter what you are, . Just one more ritual they can add to the list..lol