Is it harmful for women to let men take the lead role?

[AgnosticBoy]

I recently had a conversation with a forum member on another site on the topic of if the Bible supports men subjugating women. We both agreed that the Bible prescribed rules/practices that subjugate/discriminate against women, although my agreement was only to a degree. In this thread, I want to explore this topic but from a non-religious standpoint.

Can a secular case be made for or against men taking the lead in the relationship?

For debate
Is it harmful for women to let men take the lead role?

 

[AgnosticBoy]

Is it harmful for women to let men take the lead role?

Many tend to equate patriarchal or traditional gender standards with abuse, inequality, discrimination, etc. They'll usually point to the Middle East for examples showing women being abused/suppressed. But my position is that there is both good and bad traditional gender roles. Some good examples are what we find in minority race families, like in some Asian, Hispanic, and Black families where the male tends to take the lead while also not engaging in some of the abuses and suppression of women that we see in the Middle Eastern countries.

*Keep in mind, that my position has nothing to say about women being in charge, nor am I against that. That's just a separate issue but I wonder if people would then say that since the roles are inequal (the woman taking charge in the relationship), that women will start to abuse men?

 

[AgnosticBoy]

In this post, I wanted to offer specific examples to support my viewpoint. Everyone else can chime in or offer their own viewpoint to the debate topic.

Just to reiterate...
My position is that patriarchy can exist without harming or suppressing women. Some of the patriarchal standards were that the man provides and protects.

The first example is if a couple has kids or are expecting, then it does not harm women when the man takes the lead by becoming the provider in that case. Not only does it not harm woman and kids, but in many cases, it's also a necessity for someone to be the sole provider while the other person takes care of the kids. I'm not even claiming that it has to happen that way, because the father can also be the stay-at-home parent, but the point is that either scenario can happen without harm or abuse.

Another example is when it comes to protection. If someone breaks into the house, the man is not abusing nor suppressing the woman by taking the lead to protect the family. I've seen encounters where a woman jumps behind her man when they come upon a dangerous situation.

 

[Mr. Johnson]

it's also a necessity for someone to be the sole provider while the other person takes care of the kids.

Bingo. It is a necessity. If a woman can make it on her own without needing a man to pay her bills than more power to her. That would be a pipe dream for the poor Black communties I grew up in..

Is it harmful for women to let men take the lead role?

That would depend on the man. I know that it can work though because I am a product of a two parent household. We were poor, but both my parents did what they thought was best. My dad didn't sit around barking orders, but he made sure he taught me how to be a man and was a **** good provider.

You ever watch the Steve Harvey show? This episode is right on topic

 

[AgnosticBoy]

That would depend on the man

Of course, that's true! In my view, to think that it will always lead to abuse goes too far.

 

[TracyRN]

That would depend on the man.

That's the best answer!

Women who resist the idea of letting the man take the lead have probably been with a lot of bad men. I personally wouldn't let just any man take the lead in the relationship.

You ever watch the Steve Harvey show? This episode is right on topic

I used to love his show. To bad they took it off in my area.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

Thank you for offering your perspective Tracy.

Speaking of the woman's perspective, let's also talk about what it would mean for them to let a man take the lead in the relationship. I feel that some feminists think of this issue as an all or nothing issue, where the woman is either completely submissive in everything vs. being totally independent (the I don't need a man crowd). For a woman to let the man take lead does not mean letting men walk all over her or that women can't offer their own input, get an education of their own, make important decisions, make their own money, etc.

As an analogy,I think the any leadership in the relationship should be like the relation between a manager and his or her employees. An employee has rights, can offer input, and may even be able to do most or all things that the manager can do (although both would manage or take the lead in different areas). The relationship should not be like that of a dictator and his people.