Is Monogamy natural?

[AgnosticBoy]

I question if monogamy is natural given that there is so much cheating going on. It seems we have to work hard to maintain it. There is also plenty of non-monogamous behavior going on in the animal world. Here's an article that brings up this point:

Institute for Family Studies

Among mammals, just 9 percent of species are monogamous; among primates, just 29 percent are. Humans are a diverse lot, but before Western imperialism, 83 percent of indigenous societies were polygynous, 16 percent monogamous, and 1 percent polyandrous (where women have multiple husbands).

What’s interesting, and frustrating for those looking for clean answers, is that these categories aren’t as exclusive as they seem. Polygynous human societies are only preferentially so: Many men still acquire only one wife, and Barash writes that such pairings were probably the most common throughout human history. Monogamous societies, of course, always have their share of philandering and “serial monogamy,” too. And there may have been a significant shift from polygyny toward monogamy beginning about five thousand to ten thousand years ago, judging by genetic evidence. Some kings and warlords aside, ours is a case of moderate polygyny; we’re not elephant seals, whose harems often number up to 40.

For Debate:
Is monogamy natural?

If it isn't natural, then why should we mandate it when it comes to marriage?

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

from several biographies, I really think Nancy and Ronnie Reagan were monogamous

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

and Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter most probably were, too. And most probably still are! , for both are still living.

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Speaking as a 59-year-old man who’s never been married, most probably because I’m on the Aspergers-Autism Spectrum. And mainly speaking to other men.

Don’t do the bad type of cheating.

Don’t have sex with one of her friends or with her sister. Not unless you’re a full-fledged swinger. And maybe not even then.

“Just don’t embarrass me in Cincinnati.”

I thought, if I include the quote, maybe people will remember it. This comes from something Pete Rose’s wife said to him: “I know things sometimes happen on the road. Just don’t embarrass me in Cincinnati.” And what did the lout do? He embarrassed her in Cincinnati.

So, look guys, if you have one of these reasonably common marriages with an unspoken agreement, yes, save it for the ski trip, save it for the business trip, save it for the stereotypical trip to Vegas. In other words, fool around outside her friendship and social circle.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

from several biographies, I really think Nancy and Ronnie Reagan were monogamous

Even if monogamy is found to be unnatural, I don't think that it would apply to everyone. We can look at it the same way we look at sexual orientatation, where we don't expect everyone to be heterosexual even if it's natural. Although, I think far more people would turn out to be non-monogamous than monogamous. Many may suppress it, even those in monogamous relationships, and so they resort to cheating. If there were healthy ways for all non-monogamous people to express themselves, like say, non-monogamous relationships, i.e. polyamory or polygamy, then there would be a lot less "cheating" going on.

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Even if monogamy is found to be unnatural, I don't think that it would apply to everyone. We can look at it the same way we look at sexual orientatation, . . .

The difficult cases might be where there’s a love match, but the people have different predispositions regarding monogamy.

With men,

1/3 might be one woman type of guys,

1/3 can be monogamous with some difficulty, at least most of the time, and

1/3 just aren’t monogamous.

 

[Multicolored Lemur]

Regarding overall personality . . .

This is the Myers Briggs classification of different personality types. Just as a heads up, it’s more commonly used in business than in psychology, so I’m not sure how many studies it’s really backed up by.

What I like about it is that none of the 16 types is a majority!

E = Extrovert

I = Introvert

One of the other pairs of letters I think is about whether you prefer moving from a specific (such as a case study) to the general, or do you prefer the other way around of first starting with the general and then moving to the specific?

A person can easily be reasonably good at both. It would then be more a question of, what’s your first language, what do you feel more comfortable with?