If the person said otherwise because of the timing of their prayer and the remission of cancer, then I'd have to tell them it's a low probability but not impossible.
If me and the person were having afternoon tea, or fishing on the riverbank sipping cool lemonade whether alcoholic or non-alcoholic — and if I knew my friend liked philosophy. And that’s an important consideration, because a lot of people are very practically-minded and more power to them.
I don’t want to be like Ann’s husband who offended me by laying this philosophy on me after my grandmother died.
It was 20 years ago. I sometimes miss my grandmother but the wounds aren’t fresh. And he didn’t mean badly. And he said she had had a good life, and I believe in that, too.
He said two or three sentences, and there was the threat of him keeping going. That was probably the key part which really bothered me and made it awkward for me. Plus, while Ann was a homegrown American, he was from a foreign culture. He smiled. I don’t know if he was trying to be sympathetic. If he was proud of putting together his philosophy, and this is the one I kind of latched onto. Or, maybe he was just embarrassed, because it was an awkward and serious topic. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but . . .
—> I basically couldn’t look at the guy afterwards.
And before this, Ann was a nice older lady who enjoyed walking her German shepherd in the neighborhood.
And so consequently, I’m much more cautious about laying any kind of complex sentences onto a person who has recently experienced loss. Anything beyond an “I’m sorry,” and the offer of a hug. It’s their time. It’s not my time to be right about philosophy or religion or my own thinking.
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Of course, if they’ve beaten cancer, they may be just as high as a kite. And/or we may be excellent friends. This whole topic very much depends on the particular social situation, and I certainly make the wrong move.
