Is jealousy learned or innate?

[AgnosticBoy]

Jealousy is related to sexuality so I started this topic in this section.

Many people would experience jealousy if they discovered or even suspected that their partner was giving special attention to someone else. I want to know if this behavior is learned from culture or is it innate. I can think of some extreme views where someone might say that jealousy is totally conditioned or learned behavior. On the other end of the spectrum, someone might say that it's totally innate and only the degree that we experience or react to it is learned.

For Debate:
What's the verdict? I can think of a wide range of behaviors to use as examples.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

I believe that jealousy is both natural and learned. I would say the evidence for jealousy being a part of nature lies in the fact that non-human species, like dogs, also display it and certain primates. Jealousy has also been found in infants. Infants would barely have had exposure to culture and environment to "learn" of jealousy and its associated behaviors. Which brings me to my next point about the learned aspect of it. This is where there may be some debate. Before moving on I'll post some info. from one good article I found:

For a person or animal to feel jealousy, they need to have the cognitive ability to recognize, on some level, the importance of a relationship and gauge potential threats to that relationship — a tall order for some animals, no doubt.

Most research into jealousy has revolved around sex and romantic relationships, but jealousy, of course, can occur in other situations, such as between friends, family members and co-workers. In fact, research shows that infants as young as 6 months demonstrated jealousy when their mothers interacted with another infant (which was, in actuality, a realistic-looking doll). This suggests jealousy is an inborn (not learned) emotion that evolved to protect any type of social relationship from interlopers, and one that may exist in other social animals.

In 2014, researchers at the University of California, San Diego modified the infant experiments, adapting them to man's best friend. They found that dogs acted far more jealous when their owners interacted with a fake dog (petting it and treating it as if it were real) than with jack-o'-lanterns or books. One-third of the dogs tried to get in between their owners and the fake dog, and one-fourth of them even snapped at the fake dog.

Source: LiveScience

I believe that certain aspects of jealousy are learned when it comes to what we perceive as a threat. There are some obvious cases that everyone would perceive as a threat, like catching your partner in the act. However, there are many other examples where we would differ what we consider to be a threat to our relationship or job.

 

[TracyRN]

How much fun do you want to have with this topic? I will give you some scenarios me and my friends have encountered that have caused problems.

If your husband or wife dances with someone else, is jealousy justified?

If a guy friend calls your wife between 8p-10pm, is it wrong?

Is it okay for a wife to invite a guy friend to their house when the husband is not there?

 

[AgnosticBoy]

Let me first say that I don't see any objective standard here. Most of my points come from the perspective of what I think is a reasonable threat to the relationship or something bordering slutty.

If your husband or wife dances with someone else, is jealousy justified?

It would depend on the type of dancing and the club. I wouldn't want my girlfriend twerking all over guys. My girlfriend has danced with other partners during a dance class and when she goes out with her friends. If I was with her on a date then I wouldn't want her to dance with others because that's our time together. Then again from reading other responses on the internet, I believe there are times where it would be fun to switch partners like during ballroom dancing.

I'm sure you can find plenty of other answers on Yahoo answers, quora, reddit, and other sites. Here's some sites that covered the topic:
- https://www.quora.com/Is-it-okay-if-your-girlfriend-dances-with-other-guys
- reddit
- https://www.salsaforums.com/threads...girlfriend-dances-salsa-with-other-men.20072/

If a guy friend calls your wife between 8p-10pm, is it wrong?

No. I should say it's nothing to get jealous about.

Is it okay for a wife to invite a guy friend to their house when the husband is not there?

Generally-speaking no. I would have to know the guy as well and trust him before he's allowed to come over and be alone with my girl in the house. I've gone over to girl's houses but I'm always accompanied by my girlfriend. I think a guy should always go to a girl's (a friend, of course) house accompanied by his girlfriend because you don't know how the husband or boyfriend will react if he see's you in his house alone with his wife.

 

[TracyRN]

what I think is a reasonable threat to the relationship

A lot of that has to do with trust! If you don't trust someone then you might see everything as a threat.

If a guy friend calls your wife between 8p-10pm, is it wrong?

No. I should say it's nothing to get jealous about.

I tried to make both posts show up together in one box instead of separate. I like your answer. It might be a respect and courtesy issue but not a jealousy issue.

 

[TracyRN]

If I was with her on a date then I wouldn't want her to dance with others because that's our time together.

My thoughts are if you met her twerking at the club then you should expect for her to do the same.

Is it okay for a wife to invite a guy friend to their house when the husband is not there?

Generally-speaking no.

One of my friends said that her husband saw it as a problem but it was not because he didn't trust her. The problem is that he did not trust any guys in that situation. Another friend says that the husband does not trust that his wife can handle herself in the situation. As if she will just give in.

 

[AgnosticBoy]

I tried to make both posts show up together in one box instead of separate.

I sent you a PM regarding that issue.

One of my friends said that her husband saw it as a problem but it was not because he didn't trust her. The problem is that he did not trust any guys in that situation. Another friend says that the husband does not trust that his wife can handle herself in the situation. As if she will just give in.

I can accept that it's possible for a guy and girl to be close friends and go over each other's houses and have nothing romantic come out of it. However, I don't want to be naive either. I totally understand that some women want their man to trust them no matter what. At the same time, we also have to admit that certain things, even if not cheating itself, creates a big risk for it. I would at least say that known big risks should be avoided. That shouldn't be done through jealousy or 'mate-guarding' though, but rather it should be done by establishing mutual standards and trust.